You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
