Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Randomize