Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
