I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i barfeds in our rink
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize