Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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