My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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