Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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