his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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