I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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