did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
My dick has a subreddit
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Randomize
