That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize