PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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