just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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