I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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