what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
We're too hungover to prance.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize