He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Randomize
