but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Randomize
