We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
then he tried to convert me to islam
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize