Walk of Shame. In a state park.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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