im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Randomize
