i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
