well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
