you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
