Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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