I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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