apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize