you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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