My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Randomize
