Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
