hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
