so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize