I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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