Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
