Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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