thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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