So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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