Moan for me like Helen Keller
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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