Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I just had sex on a roof
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I pour the whiskey from now on
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize