I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
