Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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