I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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