I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
