Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
