Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
