i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
