Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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