Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize