Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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