Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
