I wanna bring you to show and tell
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize