what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
