hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
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