I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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