That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
