he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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