I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
He passed out mid-signature
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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