its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
