Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Sorry about my life...
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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