i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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