awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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