Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
