so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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