i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
