I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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