it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
