My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize
