Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Randomize
